I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
