My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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