you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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