I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
