I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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