Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
wow bdsm is so cute
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
