OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
