I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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