I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
