Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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