Are we in a gay sports bar?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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