I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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