I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
