Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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