i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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