Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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