I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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