I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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