You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
