Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
