I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
