ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
