He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
