halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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