i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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