u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
