There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
