VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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