Non-Jews are for practice
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
