Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
