I heard we made out
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I could fuck to npr.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
