I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
