Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
