areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
