I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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