Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
