Do you still have your period?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
