in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
