i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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