Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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