I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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