Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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