My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
