Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
