I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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