They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
