No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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