I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
