i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
