he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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